The Day the Music Died

It’s no secret that I’m a music freak.  Music moves me like few other things can.  A well executed song can leave me silently introspective, while a rousing live performance can leave me blabbering like a giddy school girl for days.  Music speaks to me, and I truly don’t know that I could survive without it.

It’s really rather surprising to me that I didn’t further pursue musical instruments past my teen years, although I imagine I will learn the guitar at some point.  I mean, that is the first step to fulfilling a goal of mine--coming back in my next life as a famous bass guitarist.  It’ll be grand.

This music love has helped me win countless games of “Name that Tune," as I can oft recognize songs within two to three notes.  As much as I enjoy lyrical genius in songs, what really moves me is the instrumental.  I like mentally picking apart songs to figure out which instruments are being used, which notes are being hit, and what “time” the song is being played in.  It’s dorky, but it moves me.

I’ve sometimes been teased for my musical interests, because many are off the beaten path.  My tastes are quite eclectic; I can appreciate good musicianship in everything from classical to oldies to modern indie bands to some well-liked rock bands.  However, I believe that it’s necessary to explore outside the mainstream to find quality music.  Too often, music pushed to the forefront by radio, internet, MTV (when they used to push music) and iTunes can be canned garbage with no soul.  It doesn’t take much to use a drum machine and synthesizer, then add in some awful vocals tweaked by Auto-Tune.  I think that’s one of the reasons I enjoy seeing live music so much, because I get to weed out which bands actually play music well, and which are simply hacks who can't perform without studio enhancements.

Having said all that, we arrive at the part of this post that pains me the most.  I have to admit the following:  I like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.

There, I said it.  I’m not proud of it.  What is even worse is that mine is not a casual liking, but I actually seek out their music.  If you can call it music.  But just try playing one of those poppy Gaga songs on the radio and challenge me to not sing along.  You better believe I’ll be bursting out with “Papa, paparazzi!” at random points for the rest of the day.  Katy Perry is even worse.  She puts out precisely the type of teeny-bopper mainstream pop that I would typically turn up my nose at.  But there’s something about her music that creates such a severe brain worm for me, that I get called out by co-workers for singing “Teenage Dream” under my breath.

Even Gaga's meat dress entices me.

Granted, Lady Gaga is actually trained in the arts and plays the piano.  However, I don’t typically find her tunes to be particularly complex or unique.  In fact, when she was on her rise to stardom, I was very anti-Gaga due to her songs bearing haunting similarities to already existing material.  For example, the beginning of “Bad Romance” smacks of the intro to The Offspring’s “Self Esteem.”  And I still can’t hear “Alejandro” without freezing in horror, thinking radio stations might have actually started playing Ace of Base’s “Don’t Turn Around” again.  I thought it was just me noticing such things, but since embarking on my Gaga-bashing campaign a couple years ago, I have found others who quietly make similar accusations.  If only her re-worked songs weren’t so darn catchy.

Both of these women rely largely on their personae, instead of actual musical talent, to sell records.  They’re outrageous and downright tarty.  Yet we can't look away and continue to eat it up, even begging for more.  It's not really their fault, because that’s how the industry works.  Like it or not, sex sells and rockets musicians to the top of the charts more than, and faster than, solid talent. 

Perry's classy moment in "California Gurls"

I can’t begrudge them for doing what they felt they had to in order to fulfill their dreams of stardom.  As ditzy as they both can come off sometimes, I really do think they’re both intelligent.  I understand that there are countless people advising them and marketing them, but they undoubtedly exhibit enough intelligence to know what makes them hot commodities.  If they weren’t smart, they’d allow themselves to have embarrassingly public breakdowns a la Britney Spears.

I’ve recently “come out” with my humiliating admission of Gaga-Perry love.  I was underground for a long time, trying to hide the fact that a 30-something is shaking her booty to the same music as 13-year-old girls.  I’ve taken a lot of flak from fellow music junkies who question my tastes.  They say I’m what’s killing the music industry and good musicians die a little inside every time I play a Katy Perry song.  But I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s OK to have guilty pleasures sometimes, and this one is mine.  So if you’ll excuse me, it’s now time for me to put on an inappropriately short skirt, frighteningly tall heels, oversized sunglasses, and go completely “gaga” over “Poker Face.”