Get Over It

Trends come and go, that's just how it is. But there are some that have come and I wish they'd go. Pronto. The speed with which technology spreads ideas has created quite the inundation of memes, videos, Tweets, etc. that allow plugged in people everywhere to get in on trends that previously may have remained (mercifully) localized and largely unknown. Everyone has some "in" things that they're "so over" and here are a few I'm ready to see fade into oblivion:

Tiny head or gargantuan cap?

-Flat brimmed caps -- I just don't get these. They look weird and enormous on people's heads. The fact that The Biebs adores them certainly doesn't elevate their status in my mind. Let's get back to the gently curved caps that look like they actually fit on the wearer's head. Flat brims are sort of like the ridiculous baggy pants trend. Which brings me to...

-Ridiculous baggy pants -- I know this is not something new, considering it was mentioned by the oh-so-eloquent Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) waaaay back in the 1995 movie Clueless, but it's still worth mentioning. We all fall victim to horrible fashion trends (ahem, ladies who showed thong straps in the early 2000s) so I can't be too harsh on the guys who let the pants hang down their butts. The underwear showing doesn't bother me so much as the dudes who sport so much of a pants droop that they can't walk down the street without holding their drawers up with their hand. The odd penguin waddle that ensues just seems uncomfortable and inefficient.

-"Old" Instagram Photos -- I think Instagram is fun, but I think putting certain filters on the photos to make them look old and weathered is just dumb. I know that the younger generation may not have yet experienced the fading, yellowing or even reddening of their childhood photographs so this seems novel. But let me assure them, that wasn't something that was typically celebrated... people usually did their best to PREVENT that from happening over time because it ruins the photo. Since the introduction of the smart phone in 2007, we have done nothing but compete to have the biggest, baddest, clearest cameras on our cell phones. But the introduction of those filters that makes photos grainy and faded instantly negated all the camera progress. Stop the madness and just post your gorgeous, crisp photos.

-Tom's Shoes -- Please note that I positively love the idea behind these shoes (for every pair purchased the company gives a pair to an impoverished child in a developing nation), but I just think they're ugly. The popular original Tom's design looks like the old lady canvas shoes that Kmart has been selling each summer since about the mid-1980s. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just don't find them attractive. There's even a Facebook page called "Tom's Shoes are Ugly and Annoying." Although Tom's has expanded its offerings slightly and now has a few less-ugly options, perhaps it could team up with Steve Madden or BCBG for a killer combo of fashionable charity. Until then, I'll just have to spend a little extra time buying cute shoes and then donating my running shoes to children in Africa instead of embracing the ease of buying from Tom's.

-Cleanses, Juicing, Diet Fad du Jour -- It seems like everyone wishing to be more health conscious is trying a "cleanse" these days. The reality is many people just use the purported health benefits as an excuse to try these diets which also claim to shed pounds at record speeds. Some of them, like juice cleanses, are downright ridiculous. And for some reason, people who are doing a silly diet insist on bludgeoning those around them with every silly detail of the silly suffering. Instead of jumping on every get-thin-quick fad that isn't sustainable over the long term, I'd really like to see people embrace better exercise and daily eating habits which can be practiced for a lifetime.

-PBR -- Having grown up in Milwaukee, I'm fond of this former-hometown beer. But we always picked it up for dirt cheap prices. Now the hipsters have ruined everything and prices for the blue ribbon of beers are jacked up at the bars. Pabst Blue Ribbon is one of my examples of "I loved this before it was popular and now I hate it."

 Gross Facial Hair Anonymous

-Hipster Facial Hair -- Sure, at first those little staches with the funny curled ends looked retro and cute. That is, until every post-pubescent hipster or hippy or downright dirty or wannabe cool male started sporting real life molester mustaches. Full blown unruly, raggedy beards followed, often complete with holes where the hair won't grow in right. Dudes, cut the porn staches because for the most part they just look creepy and stupid. If you're going to go full beard, at least groom it. I'm curious to hear how people regularly kiss these men with copious amounts of scraggly facial hair... my face is raw just thinking about it. You know the trend has gone overboard when scores of women and kids join in on the facial hair trend and sport stick-on staches.

Just no.

Enough!

OK, rant finished. I'm sure there are countless other trends I missed that need to be over, ASAP. Let me know if you have other groan-worthy examples of overly-hyped ideas society needs to let fall to the wayside.