Apocalypse Now

For the past several years, zombies have been all the rage (so have vampires, but we're not going there today). Films and TV shows have been raking in mucho moolah depicting the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse. There's one movie in particular I find particularly amusing for its list of tips to avoid becoming zombie grub: Zombieland.

The Zombieland tips are fantastic, including such gems as "double tap" (always shoot zombies twice to ensure they're dead) and "cardio" (stay in shape so you can outrun the baddies. "The first ones to go... are the fatties" according to the movie). Before reading further, go watch this movie. It's hilarious.

In honor of Halloween, I have compiled some zombie apocalypse survival tips of my own. However, there are already far too many aimed at humans, so in a bit of a twist, these are aimed at the zombies. Here are my pearls of wisdom for zombies to stay alive, er, dead, um, undead, or whatever "night walker" state they want to sustain:

-Fire resistant clothing -- OK, so you don't like fire. In fact, it's one of your top two worst enemies. So do something about it. How about scouring the Halloween aisle at Target, considering all those kiddie costumes say "flame retardant." Put on a few of those bad boys and at least you'll have a light, flexible option to prevent burning up.

-Wear a helmet -- Also available at Target. It's no secret that attacks to the head are the only other way to kill zombies besides fire. Bike helmets will suffice, but opt for a full face-covering motorcycle helmet if it's available. In a pinch, a metal bucket or large soup pot with cut outs for your eyes should do the trick.

-Use stupidity to your advantage -- Not your stupidity, the humans' stupidity. If you've seen ANY horror movies, you know that poor judgment will eventually take over and the humans will make ridiculous, amateurish mistakes... such as thinking they're the exception to the zombie rules and you won't actually nab them. Zombie attacks only happen to other people. Stay alert to find ways to trip up the humans... both literally and figuratively.

-Makeup -- Face it, you're disgusting. And the more you decay, the creepier you look. The creepier you look, the more humans will flee from you. Sephora has free makeup testers, so head over there and cover up that gaping flesh wound if you want humans to relate to you. Which brings me to...

-Play the stereotypical sympathy/love card (if you're a dude zombie) -- This works primarily on women and goes along with the previous point of relating to humans. If the vampire love in "Twilight" has taught us anything, it's that inter-species lovin' is not only possible, it's encouraged (at least that's what I've heard. I can't read that teen-lit "sparkle" vampire stuff). Work that zombie lovin', then take a bite.

-Play the stereotypical skank (if you're a lady zombie) --  This goes along with the previous two points and works primarily on men. If mankind has taught us anything, it's that it doesn't take much for men to turn to putty when presented with a skanky female specimen. Even if that specimen is a zombie. Work that slutty zombie lovin', then take a bite.

-Tools --  I understand that with all the herky jerky movements and rotting appendages, holding and operating tools is a difficult task. However, due to said jerky and slow movements, mastering easy tools to capture your prey at a distance is imperative because they can usually out-run you. While still at Target, consider costume props such as ninja stars or lassos. Or check out someplace like Fleet Farm for bear traps. Such traps are effective at immobilizing your prey, while still keeping them alive so the flesh is fresh.

-Pace yourself/element of surprise -- Don't go storming into a crowd of humans like the bros rushing a hot girl at a bar. That's never appreciated and will only result in your prey escaping with a snort and an eye roll (while during the zombie apocalypse AND at the bar). Growling and trying to quickly attack humans simply alerts them to your presence, so you need to be stealthy. Fight the driving urge to EAT BRAINS NOW and lie amongst other dead bodies without stirring. You'll blend in well. Or cover yourself with some of the debris you find littering the streets (because the streets in zombie movies are consistently filled with crap) and pounce when unsuspecting prey nears.

-Hit the beach -- We've seen the played-out scenarios of zombies invading cities. But how about visiting less obvious places like the beach, where sun bathers are relatively lethargic and ripe for the biting? Plus, they're freshly cooked from the UV rays, so they should have a nice, meaty taste.

-Snack -- Look, we all snack. You can't be expected to put in a full day of work (in this case hunting humans) on a completely empty stomach. While munching on animal flesh may not be nearly as gratifying as noshing on human flesh, have a little nibble. Remember when you were alive and your stomach was growling? Remember how it wasn't really that satisfying but sometimes you'd reach for the readily available, yet crappy, rice cake just so you could hold out for the steak dinner you had planned for later that night? Employ those tactics now and have a snack of a small rodent or chicken while awaiting the glorious feast of stupid humans once it grows dark.

-Dance to "Thriller" -- You hate to admit it, but it's your guilty pleasure. Get down with your zombie self and take a few minutes to indulge in the joy of performing as one of the creatures accompanying MJ in the classic video. After all, it's Halloween. Treat yourself.

Don't fight it. You know you crave a dance with MJ.

Whether you're alive, dead or undead, Happy Halloween and best of luck to you during the apocalypse.

Forever Young

As any parent can tell you, the sea of children's items continues to expand on a daily basis. Many of these products are kid versions of similar adults items. Recently I've noticed a counter-trend: some products for grown-ups that appear to actually be modeled after products children use. Here are the items I've noticed so far and believe were inspired by kiddie items:

-Disposable coffee lids -- Remember back when asking for a lid on your coffee meant snapping on one of those old school pull tab style lids that looked like this?

Not so anymore. Apparently adult lips were too inconvenienced by the inferior opening. Now, everywhere you look adults are suckling upon lids with a little spout resembling toddlers' sippy cups. All we need is to add handles to the coffee cups and the comparison is complete. I blame Starbucks.

  

-Hygienic wipes -- A few years ago a "new" product hit the market claiming to make you feel fresh and clean after doing your duty in the restroom. This product is a hygienic wipe. Perhaps you remember the Charmin bears advertising said product. There's no way you can convince me this isn't just a glorified baby wipe.

-Footed pajamas -- I really have no knowledge of where the first footed pajamas originated. They could have been common for adults back in the days before central heating systems, when people wore those all-in-one long johns with buttoned butt flaps. But any photos I've seen of those are always footless. So I contend that the footed pajamas we've bundled kids in for ages have spurred the recent surge in examples for adults. I'm not judging because I love snuggling up in those things, just like I did when I was a kid.

-Recumbent bikes -- Personally, I don't care for these but some people love them. Kids do too. Except when kids ride them, they're called Big Wheels. Carry on, recumbent bikers, you look really cool, like a big boy.

 

-White Noise Machines -- It seems like white noise machines really took off as sleep aids for average household use around the mid-1990s. Talk about an invention to solve a first world problem! Anyway, I think they're just expensive versions of the light and sound machines parents have been using for decades to ease baby into a blissful slumber.

-Magnetic Poetry -- This is another product I believe really took off around the mid-1990s. The giggle inducing word kits started off innocently enough, but usually devolved into immature antics. These kits were surely inspired by someone watching kids arranging their magnetic letters on the fridge.

-Individual wine boxes -- I applaud whoever invented the concept of shrinking the cumbersome boxes of wine down to servings that can be taken on the go. Now there's no reason to go to work, the store or church and remain sober. Except that the idea of the mini-box isn't that original and began with kids' juice boxes. Now mommy can enjoy her happy juice while junior slurps away on Juicy Juice.

I have no concrete evidence supporting my theory that the preceding adult products were created after children's products, but I stand by my observations. Sure, it's really a futile chicken-and-egg type of argument. But I'd like to think that in some small way, the product inventors unconsciously attempted to bring all of us closer to our inner children. You know, while sipping wine and arranging dirty phrases on refrigerators.

The Price is Right

My mom often used to joke that she hears the sounds of little chicks when I'm buying something. "They're saying, "Cheap, cheap, cheap!" my mom would quip.

I fully admit that I am cheap frugal. It used to bother me when being called out for it, but I've grown comfortable with this quality. Now, I even relish it. What's even better is that I've found a husband who is my equal in frugality.

The thrill of the hunt for deals is thoroughly enjoyable to me. I don't mind spending an extra hour researching an item if it means saving a load of money. While some people gloat about how much they spend on their designer clothing or handbags, I get pleasure out of buying similar items from TJ Maxx for about 80% less.

An area that seems to embarrass many people is using coupons, although I believe Groupon has made the practice a bit more acceptable in recent years. I'm all for spending part of Sunday sifting through the papers for coupons and using them on triple value coupon day at the grocery store. One of my proudest moments while grocery shopping was having a $210 bill, of which I only had to pay about $70. The cashier actually had to page the manager to approve the transaction, because the cash register thought the huge discounts were incorrect. The cashier started telling people in line what had happened and everyone was amazed, one person clapped, and another asked if I'd do her shopping from now on. When the manager approved the sale, she said she'd never seen so much saved in one sale before.

There have been countless times when I've been ready to purchase something I'd like (not need), but called it off when I discovered the price. Sometimes I find the cost of items so abhorrent that I want to school the offender by morphing into Adam Sandler when he and Bob Barker fight in "Happy Gilmore," yelling, "The price is wrong, bitch!"

I think living in the DC area makes frugal living stand out even more. The area is rife with people interested in spending frivolously on luxury items, and not taking the time to examine the value of purchases. I can't tell you how appalled I have been at hearing how much credit card debt people here hold, yet continue to spend on luxury items, thus accruing more debt. Plus, while living here, I have encountered more blank stares and eye rolls in response to my penny pinching than any of the other cities I've lived in. It's a good thing I don't care.

My frugality is what pushes me to use items until they are so past their lifespan it's sometimes laughable. Re-using plastic take-out containers? Yep. Keeping my antiquated computer tower until it was too slow to function and the monitor actually blew out? You bet. And might I remind many of you who have visited my home about the hand-me-down table and chairs that I finally had to get rid of. You know, the decades-old chairs that literally fell apart underneath some guests (Again, sorry about that. Please come over and enjoy the new dining set). It simply pains me to purchase new items before the old ones are used to their fullest potential and absolutely ready to throw out. Granted, I'm not as bad as my father-in-law, but close. He wore a threadbare robe for 40 years, until my mother-in-law's frequent "pressuring" finally won, and a new robe magically appeared in the closet.

As I've alluded to in previous posts, different people have different priorities and values in life. My priorities focus more on travel and enjoying life experiences than having a huge house, expensive car and the most up to date electronics. I believe that scrimping in some areas that matter less allows for more funding for things I actually care about, like being able to jet away to warmer weather when the winter is getting the better of me.

But even when it comes to important experiences, like travel, I'm not a big spender. I'll spend weeks researching the best deals and will choose to stay in a small room in a 2-star hotel, if it means I have more money later for scuba diving, visiting an ostrich farm or going parasailing. (I'm not saying I'll tolerate dirty hotels, but I don't need tons of perks.) Those who ask about the prices of my trips tend to be utterly surprised at the low costs.

In the end, people can tease me as much as they want for being a cheapskate. But I'm going to continue to look for freebies, collect coupons, buy generic and avoid expensive, flashy purchases. I contend I'll be the one laughing all the way to the bank... and on my next adventure vacation.

A Fine Line

"Oh no, do we have to move again?"

It's the comment my husband utters with a sigh every time I declare I'm having "trouble with the library." And when I say "trouble with the library" what I really mean is "I have a big old fine."

I positively adore the library. I move around frequently and every time I re-locate, the library is one of the first places I look for on my new neighborhood's map. Libraries, although typically not as widely used as they should be, are a fantastic community resource to prevent me from spending thousands upon thousands of dollars each year on books.

Don't get me wrong, occasionally I do purchase books, but the library is just too convenient. I don't feel the need to read books the instant they are released and I'm currently not in a book club, so borrowing is perfectly acceptable in my mind. Plus, I read an awful lot of classics, which are plentiful at the library. So why not take advantage of a nearby resource for which I'm already paying taxes?

I've had contentious relationships with my local libraries over the years, sometimes due to my negligence and other times for reasons beyond my control. I admit, a number of years ago, I accrued fines fairly regularly. During that dark period, my now-husband began a joke (or is it??) about having to move every time my fines grow overwhelming, in order to avoid a bill so large that we need to re-mortgage our home. Thus, out of his suggestion of skipping town when I have fines, the phrase "Oh no, do we have to move again?" was born. 

But back to my problem. My current library and I had a bit of a falling out last autumn, when I had traveled out of the country and forgot to return my materials, racking up a multi-book fine totaling around $20. For the record, that's about the point where they start threatening to contact a collection agency. I ignored the threats until, suddenly, my fine jumped to about $38 and I felt it was time to take action. I chatted with a librarian and asked for an itemized bill so I could figure out why my fine had nearly doubled. Upon looking at the library printout, we discovered fines for books that had been returned on time, as well as random fines listed twice. Although the librarian didn't seem fully convinced of my innocence in a couple of cases, we agreed that I would pay about $17 for fines that genuinely were my fault.

Alas, after a truce lasting approximately nine months (a proud time for me, indeed), the library has decided to throw down the gauntlet once again. This time, while seemingly silly, the battle is over $1.20.

I often renew my books online and did so again at the end of last week. Upon renewal I received the message "The following items have been renewed" and it listed my two books. Piece of cake. Three days later, I received a notice that one of the books was overdue and I now owed 90 cents. Baffled, I called up my account online and sure enough, one book had renewed and the other hadn't. I figured there was some glitch in the system and tried renewing the rogue book one more time. Again, I receive the message "The following items have been renewed" with my book listed immediately after.

This morning I discovered that the book again was not renewed, so I called the library. Apparently, there's a hold on that book so it will not renew, and my fine is now up to $1.20. I decided to try renewing to see what message I would receive this time, and sure enough, a different message, "Not all renewals were successful," flashed on the screen. Curious.

The librarian very nicely informed me of what to look for online to identify a hold, and that "Not all renewals were successful" should appear onscreen to alert me to a hold. However, I actually didn't need the lesson considering my extensive experience with hold messages due to my repeated use of the online system over the years. I know what they look like and promptly return books on hold to avoid a fine. I promise, there was no such message when I tried renewing twice over the past five days. I have no problem with returning a book when there's a hold, however, when there's some type of odd error with the system, the gloves come off and the battle begins.

Currently, I'm considering myself fully engaged in a library standoff. I will return the book tonight, but that fine is not getting paid. It's not the $1.20, it's the principle. I'm not pleased about having a fine tarnish my clean-for-nearly-a-year record, but that is how it must remain for now. Let's just say the library has crossed a "fine" line, and I'm not budging.

Should a bill collector appear at my door in the coming months for a money gathering attempt, I think I'll kindly refuse and record a video of the entire ordeal to create a YouTube sensation. I'm fairly certain "Bill Collector Goes Postal Over $1.20 Library Fine" would be a significant money maker.

Dirty Birds

People, you are dirty. Dirty, nasty little pervs. Just when you thought you were hiding it, here I am calling you out. I know where you are, and I know what you're looking at online.

Let me include a little back story to explain. Last year, I wrote a blog post on being married to an identical triplet. It was supposed to be purely informative, but somehow has morphed into a veritable pornucopia. All because I was trying to tell you nasty people to stop asking silly questions because my husband has not been, and will not be, starring in any triplet porn. I included a photo of the Dahm triplets, who represent an extreme, ludicrous example of triplets, which some people choose to elevate as a prime example of reality. Now, because of that one photo (which, by the way, showed no nudity) my blog site overflows with internet porn surfers from all over the world trying to see triple the boobies.

If you think your internet searches are completely anonymous, here's a harsh reality check for you: they're not. Blog sites allow users to view stats such as where people are visiting from, what operating system they use, whether they're reading from a mobile device and what words they may have searched to arrive on the site. Let me assure you, I've encountered some wild search words over the past eight months or so. The predominant search term for my site is "triplet porn," closely followed by "hot triplets." I shan't shock you with some of the juicier searches that have led people to this site, as I think your imagination will suffice.

I also know where you're reading from, even if you think you've blocked such stats from being visible to me. Granted, it's not as specific as some blogs sites which actually show IP addresses, but I know which cities you're visiting from. It's been exhilarating seeing that people from all parts of the world -- including South Africa, the Philippines, Australia and Brazil -- find my site and sometimes become repeat viewers. The demoralizing part comes when I see they've arrived by searching for triplet porn. And here, I thought I was winning the world over with my glorious writing skills and wit. *sigh*

Let me give you an idea of just how many people arrive on this site hoping for porn. When looking at the hit counts on each of my posts, they tend to cluster together within a few views of each other, maybe varying by tens of views. However, the triplet post has received nearly nine times as many hits as its closest contender. Think about it: if the second-most-read post had 100 views, closely followed by a third place post with 98 views, that means the triplet post racked up 900 hits. It boggles the mind and proves that internet porn is alive and well, regardless of measures to curb it.

Don't get me wrong, I happily accept readers no matter how they discover this site. I just hope that maybe some of those who visit to triple their pervy pleasure will find other posts they like, and perhaps become regular readers. If not, that's OK. Just keep the web traffic coming, you dirty birds.

This isn't intended to change behaviors or to preach that people shouldn't look at internet porn. It's simply to inform you, dear readers, that if I can figure out what nasty stuff you're looking at, other more adept computer wizards undoubtedly see it as well. Remember that the next time you believe you're pulling a fast one on your company by surreptitiously sneaking a peek at porn on your work computer. That brief boobie break could very well come back to haunt you. Or at least make you a topic for somebody's next blog post.

Stone Cold Trippin'

Most people don't pay much attention to the surfaces they walk on. In places where walking is more the norm instead of driving, perhaps the rate of surface investigation is a bit higher. Let me assure you, in areas like the Washington, D.C. area where cobblestone covers large swaths of sidewalk, daily surface evaluation is not uncommon. Quite frankly, daily evaluation is recommended to avoid face-planting in public.

Some of these gaps can be half an inch deep.

Let me just put this out there -- I hate cobblestone. I didn't always. Like most people, I think it looks lovely and conjures memories of more quaint, simple times. But after regularly stumbling across decades old cobblestone, the cute street surface has raised my ire.

I would like to clarify that my gripe not only pertains to traditional cobblestone, but also to bricks or other non-smooth walking surfaces. These types of ground cover pitch and warp as they settle, creating a dangerous environment. Aged cobblestone ranks even higher on my list of annoyances, because the binding material in the cracks often erodes over time, leaving significant gaps. I can't tell you how often I've seen people trip on these gaps, or how often I've had heels become trapped in the crevices.

I've spoken before of my mild obsession with shoes. As you can imagine, the rough, jagged edges and uneven surfaces of cobblestone aren't kind to high heels. I've had to have countless pairs re-heeled from my wobbly cobbly treks. Quite a few women prefer to wear flip flops or sneakers to work, then change into heels at work. But I have enough crap to carry with me (purse, lunch bag, books) and can't deal with the bulk that heels will add. I don't like carrying a large bag, and don't want to have to start in order to accommodate my shoes.

Although the shoe issue greatly annoys me, my largest concern about cobblestone is actually a safety issue. I consistently see people (including myself) trip on these uneven surfaces. Let me assure you, falling on cobblestone can create significant cuts and scrapes due to the protrusion of all those pointy edges.

Even more disturbing than watching an able bodied person become tripped up on cobblestone is watching a person with a disability trying to figure out how to work around it. Several times, I have watched people in wheelchairs maneuver in the street to avoid the perils of cobblestone. I've also witnessed a scene that broke my heart when a brave soul tried wheeling himself over the stones near my work. His wheels hit some of those jagged edges, and the poor man tumbled out of his chair into the street. Luckily, there were many bystanders who helped him up and he wasn't horribly injured.

See how the bricks warp on the left? This is why people fall.

A few years ago, a battle erupted over a new development that was to be constructed here in the D.C. area. Part of the design included historic looking cobblestone or brickwork. Disability rights groups called for changes to the plan, asking that uneven surfaces instead be smooth pavement to increase safety. The uproar from certain sectors of the community baffled me. These people wouldn't stand for their new, modern-looking development being marred by the surrounding pedestrian walks not looking historic. Makes sense, right? I believe a safe compromise eventually transpired, amidst much grumbling from the cobble-lovers.

I'd like to see new developments cease the use of cobblestone and bricks. While I know it may be a wildly unpopular view, I'd also like to see ages-old uneven surfaces paved or somehow re-worked to increase safety. There's no reason people should have to constantly trip while performing daily activities. Even more importantly, there's no reason for people with disabilities to be forced to run the gauntlet in the street rather than benefiting from the safety of a sidewalk. I'm sure parents of kids in strollers would like to get in on this gripe as well. An outright ban on such street materials sounds a bit extreme, but in my dreams, I envision a cobble-free world. However, being that I live in a "historic" area and people want their brand spanking new developments to look "historic," along with the old and decrepit cobblestone which some believe is "quaint," I guess I'll just have to be content to break heels, stub toes, twist ankles and pretend nothing happened when I plummet face first to the ground. Just do me a favor and help me up, if you're not too busy tripping yourself.

On the Straight and Narrow(minded)

"We are confronted primarily with a moral issue… whether all Americans are to be afforded equal rights and equal opportunities, whether we are going to treat our fellow Americans as we want to be treated." 
-John F. Kennedy, June 11, 1963

History really does repeat itself. Nearly 50 years after JFK uttered the preceding statement on the radio, we're again talking about allowing certain sectors of Americans to share equal rights. This time though, it's not a matter of black and white, but of gay or straight.

On Wednesday, President Obama made waves when he said in an ABC News exclusive that he supports gay marriage. This, after years of stating he didn't support gay marriage because civil unions were enough.

He's taken some heat for the about-face, however, I believe we're all entitled to change our minds. Learning about people and issues and re-evaluating our beliefs based on new information or viewpoints is part of being an adult. If I were rigid and didn't revisit my views, I would still hate cheese, never would have discovered my love for running, and quite frankly probably wouldn't currently hold friendships with some wonderful people who failed to win me over with a first impression.

To those who have been saying the president only made his statement because Vice President Joe Biden made a comment approving of gay marriage the other day, I'd like to remind you of something. Biden had also previously expressed disapproval of gay marriage, saying civil unions were enough. Clearly, the two have talked about the issue, but Biden likely exhibited one of his infamous "oops" moments and let it slip before Obama did. Who cares who said it first, let's focus on what's really important--making progress. Moving on...

Getting back to the original quote in this post about the moral dilemma... "Morality" repeatedly proves to be a tricky issue. So often, what's morally acceptable to one person is deemed despicable by another. When it comes to restricting a person's rights, it's particularly troublesome. If we ban gay marriage on moral grounds, then why not divorce? Divorce is an offense so grave in many cultures and religions it can get a person excommunicated or shunned from society. In my opinion, divorce harms the "sanctity of marriage" far more than two people of the same sex who deeply love each other and want to make a permanent commitment. Yet, there's no widely recognized movement to outlaw divorce.

Being raised a Christian, I find it quite difficult to agree with people who use Christianity, or any other religion for that matter, as an impetus for opposing gay marriage. Don't even get me started on the separation of church and state, a constitutional concept often thrown to the wayside. Does anybody remember the "Golden Rule?" It's the one in Matthew 7:12 which, in modern language, states: "Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you." It appears again in Matthew 22:37-40:  "Jesus said unto him, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.'" Variations of this moral tenet appear in sacred writings from scores of the world's religions. It is supposed to be the backbone for many religions. Never have I encountered a variation including the caveat "...except if the others are gay." However, many people ignore the Golden Rule and instead take up a practice expressly denounced in the Bible--judging others instead of letting God judge.

I respect people's right to disagree with gay marriage. That's their choice. Just like it's my choice to disagree with people like the Octomom becoming pregnant time and time again, even though it's legal. But there's a world of difference between merely disagreeing with a viewpoint or action, and being hurtful or restricting the rights of a person.

I know this post likely won't convince opponents to support gay marriage. If that happens, or at least makes you think about it a little, then that's an added bonus. I'm writing this to say if you don't approve of it, just don't hurt others. I urge anyone who feels compelled to make nasty comments or to restrict another human being's rights to watch the anguish a gay loved one experiences over trying to come out. I don't care how media or the movies may have influenced your perceptions, these are real people with real emotions. Another demoralizing moment is watching a gay loved one struggle with the reality of not being able to marry the person they love, the person who has stood by in thick and thin, shared good times and bad. I assure you, the pain is genuine, it is heart wrenching, and it is grossly unfair.

President Obama's declaration was a good start, but there's still much to be accomplished on this issue. Like Rosa Parks refusing to surrender her bus seat, or the four black men who refused to leave their stools in a North Carolina Woolworth's, small actions create a necessary spark. But we all have to work to fan the flame. No measure will be considered going "far enough" until every person is allowed the same rights to marry across the United States.

Whether or not you like her comedy, I feel this statement by Wanda Sykes sums up my sentiment on those opposed to gay marriage: "If you don't believe in same sex marriage, then don't marry someone of the same sex. I don't understand people all up in arms over sh*t that don't affect them."