A Fine Line

"Oh no, do we have to move again?"

It's the comment my husband utters with a sigh every time I declare I'm having "trouble with the library." And when I say "trouble with the library" what I really mean is "I have a big old fine."

I positively adore the library. I move around frequently and every time I re-locate, the library is one of the first places I look for on my new neighborhood's map. Libraries, although typically not as widely used as they should be, are a fantastic community resource to prevent me from spending thousands upon thousands of dollars each year on books.

Don't get me wrong, occasionally I do purchase books, but the library is just too convenient. I don't feel the need to read books the instant they are released and I'm currently not in a book club, so borrowing is perfectly acceptable in my mind. Plus, I read an awful lot of classics, which are plentiful at the library. So why not take advantage of a nearby resource for which I'm already paying taxes?

I've had contentious relationships with my local libraries over the years, sometimes due to my negligence and other times for reasons beyond my control. I admit, a number of years ago, I accrued fines fairly regularly. During that dark period, my now-husband began a joke (or is it??) about having to move every time my fines grow overwhelming, in order to avoid a bill so large that we need to re-mortgage our home. Thus, out of his suggestion of skipping town when I have fines, the phrase "Oh no, do we have to move again?" was born. 

But back to my problem. My current library and I had a bit of a falling out last autumn, when I had traveled out of the country and forgot to return my materials, racking up a multi-book fine totaling around $20. For the record, that's about the point where they start threatening to contact a collection agency. I ignored the threats until, suddenly, my fine jumped to about $38 and I felt it was time to take action. I chatted with a librarian and asked for an itemized bill so I could figure out why my fine had nearly doubled. Upon looking at the library printout, we discovered fines for books that had been returned on time, as well as random fines listed twice. Although the librarian didn't seem fully convinced of my innocence in a couple of cases, we agreed that I would pay about $17 for fines that genuinely were my fault.

Alas, after a truce lasting approximately nine months (a proud time for me, indeed), the library has decided to throw down the gauntlet once again. This time, while seemingly silly, the battle is over $1.20.

I often renew my books online and did so again at the end of last week. Upon renewal I received the message "The following items have been renewed" and it listed my two books. Piece of cake. Three days later, I received a notice that one of the books was overdue and I now owed 90 cents. Baffled, I called up my account online and sure enough, one book had renewed and the other hadn't. I figured there was some glitch in the system and tried renewing the rogue book one more time. Again, I receive the message "The following items have been renewed" with my book listed immediately after.

This morning I discovered that the book again was not renewed, so I called the library. Apparently, there's a hold on that book so it will not renew, and my fine is now up to $1.20. I decided to try renewing to see what message I would receive this time, and sure enough, a different message, "Not all renewals were successful," flashed on the screen. Curious.

The librarian very nicely informed me of what to look for online to identify a hold, and that "Not all renewals were successful" should appear onscreen to alert me to a hold. However, I actually didn't need the lesson considering my extensive experience with hold messages due to my repeated use of the online system over the years. I know what they look like and promptly return books on hold to avoid a fine. I promise, there was no such message when I tried renewing twice over the past five days. I have no problem with returning a book when there's a hold, however, when there's some type of odd error with the system, the gloves come off and the battle begins.

Currently, I'm considering myself fully engaged in a library standoff. I will return the book tonight, but that fine is not getting paid. It's not the $1.20, it's the principle. I'm not pleased about having a fine tarnish my clean-for-nearly-a-year record, but that is how it must remain for now. Let's just say the library has crossed a "fine" line, and I'm not budging.

Should a bill collector appear at my door in the coming months for a money gathering attempt, I think I'll kindly refuse and record a video of the entire ordeal to create a YouTube sensation. I'm fairly certain "Bill Collector Goes Postal Over $1.20 Library Fine" would be a significant money maker.