It's Not Just in Your Head

Last Friday, hearts broke across America and around the world at the news of a young man killing dozens of people at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Along with the sadness comes the natural anger at such an occurrence, and the rush to find solutions to prevent a similar tragedy from erupting in the future. The incident immediately sparked discussion about gun control, but that's not what I'm addressing in this post. I'd like to focus on a far more prevalent, yet less talked about issue -- mental illness.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 25% of Americans suffer from some type of mental disorder in any given year. That means at least one out of every four people you know is struggling with a mental disorder. Think you don't know anyone affected? Consider that while the term "mental disorder" covers well-known illnesses such as schizophrenia and depression, it also includes post traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders, ADHD, and anxiety or panic disorders. Mental illness isn't black and white, it's more of a sliding scale with varying degrees of severity. Just within each individual category, such as depression, there are nearly infinite degrees and variations. If you still think you don't know anybody with any of these issues, I would respectfully contend that you're probably not paying close enough attention.

Why are we so afraid to address mental disorders with our loved ones? Physical ailments don't carry the same stigma, but both are maladies that occur due to a problem with some part of the body. The only difference is that many "physical" injuries are easily visible, whereas "mental" issues are brought on by invisible chemical reactions in the brain. Even if you have a minor cut on your face or a burn on your arm, someone undoubtedly seems ready to point it out. Yet we skirt around speaking about major mental afflictions when we recognize them in our loved ones. We will talk about other personal matters, such as erectile dysfunction, but not depression. Can you believe that? People are often more willing to talk about penises than brains. Something about that strikes me as rather warped.

Avoiding the topic may be more comfortable in the short term, but it benefits nobody in the long term. If we don't address mental disorders when we notice them, they can be left to fester and escalate to irreparable levels, such as in the Newtown incident.

I feel that we're not only negligent in speaking to those close to us about their potential disorders, but we're fearful to talk about mental illness at all. When we do, it's often only in extreme scenarios such such as what happened in Connecticut, and demonizing language is employed. With anger and disgust, we spout words like "sick" or "twisted" rather than sadly talking about the "desperation" or "helplessness" that many with mental disorders feel. It doesn't have to be this way. We don't need to be fearful of these illnesses and make them taboo topics. There are already enough barriers to receiving proper help, including the lack of insurance coverage for many mental disorders. The last thing an afflicted person needs is to feel odd or to be confronted by harsh, accusatory statements.

I grew excited while watching one of the major network news programs this week when they advertised a comprehensive discussion about mental illness, but upon viewing the segment, I grew increasingly dismayed. It began by touting the prevalence of mental disorders (this report cited 47% as the number of Americans suffering from some type of mental affliction), but then immediately turned to focus on the rare, extreme cases and repeatedly used the word "sick" in a derogatory manner. Such language does nothing to further the cause; it merely perpetuates the unfortunate stereotype of mental illness being freakish and uncommon.

I urge you to talk to your loved ones about mental illness, regardless of whether it's currently a pressing issue.  You never know when it will become an issue in the future, and often already having the lines of communication open can make the discussion less uncomfortable. Make it known that you don't believe mental illness carries a stigma, that it's just like any physical ailment in need of treatment. Most of all, let your loved one know he or she is not alone. The feelings of guilt, embarrassment and despair that come with mental disorders can often seem insurmountable; sometimes just a hug and an "I'm always here for you and support you" can make all the difference.

Applaud those who seek out help for their disorders. It's painfully difficult to get to that point, considering all the negative connotations our society places on receiving assistance from a psychologist. It's also painfully difficult for those with mental illness to continue seeing a professional once improvement is evident. Continued support goes a long way in keeping a patient on the right track.

Finally, choose your words wisely. Perpetuating the use of harsh language doesn't benefit anyone. Making people with mental illness feel more "normal" could mean the difference between recovery and being pushed over the edge into a severe situation. Whatever happens, just don't sit by idly and watch someone self destruct. That, in my opinion, would be the real tragedy.